But back to today’s birthday boy, Jeffrey Hunter, whose solid acting talent and sigh-provoking good looks should have landed him a more permanent spot in film history. His face graced many a fan magazine article throughout the early 1950s, and his marriage to (and subsequent divorce from) popular ingenue Barbara Rush made him even more newsworthy. Sadly, his years as a contract player for 20th Century Fox (where he was often overshadowed by fellow contractee, Robert Wagner, who is oddly back in the tabloids this month) did little to cement his reputation. Aside from his singular “Star Trek” gig, his most remembered roles are as John Wayne’s stalwart second in the classic John Ford Western, “The Searchers,” and in the difficult role of Christ in “King of Kings,” where his youthful looks led some to dub the film, “I Was a Teenage Jesus.”

Most of Hunter’s film, both during his Fox contract years and after, were fairly routine (including “Brainstorm,” with another Chelsea Pines favorite, Anne Francis). Even his hoped-for breakout film, in a great performance as a real-life WWll hero in “No Man is an Island,” failed to ignite with audiences. After several failed TV series and an attempt to restart his career overseas in pseudo-Westerns and sword-and-sandal spectacles, as so many Hollywood actors were forced to do in the 1960s, Hunter suffered a stroke, a freak fall and a second stroke, and died at age 42.

With his combination of honest sincerity and all-American handsomeness, Jeffrey Hunter deserved a better fate. But we will continue to celebrate his star at Chelsea Pines Inn.

In truth, most of Rock’s films (and performances) were less than stellar, and many critics found his acting ability limited, but his good looks and general charm outshone most of the movies, and audiences responded in droves. It has been said that when filming his first movie, it took 38 takes to get his one line right. He gradually learned to relax on screen as the years went on, and he developed a lighter, easier touch,  particularly in his comedies with Ms. Day.

Behind his iconically handsome facade was one of the most famously closeted actors in Hollywood: Rock was gay, and his management went to great pains to hide this from the general population. Rock was convinced to marry his agent’s secretary, in an effort to quell the rumors, but the marriage didn’t take and ended quickly. As films and audience tastes began to change in the late 60s, Rock found his film choices becoming slimmer, so when TV beckoned, he became one of the highest-paid actors in history in the popular series MCMILLAN AND WIFE.

Oddly enough, Rock’s place in history will probably be based more on his eventual illness and death from AIDS. Shortly before he died, he admitted publicly to the disease, and it made worldwide headlines. Although many gay men had already died from AIDS-related deaths by 1985, Rock’s passing was a milestone in the fight against the disease, and many celebrities, chief among them Elizabeth Taylor, took up the cause, and star-studded benefits for many gay and AIDS-related organizations were held all over the world. Rock became a reluctant but certifiable “hero” in a way that he never would have dreamed of. After his constant struggle to keep his private life private, his death brought a world-famous face to a worldwide health crisis and changed it forever.

So a toast today to Rock Hudson, truly one of the biggest film stars of his day, and always remembered here at Chelsea Pines.

As a child growing up in the movie palaces of the 1950s (my dad owned or managed movie theaters in Brooklyn most of his adult life), I was fascinated by Hollywood movie stars, but none more than George Nader. Incredibly handsome, very masculine, and yet warmly engaging, George was a contract player throughout the 1950s at Universal-International. While this guaranteed him steady work in a varied line of studio projects (westerns, musicals, comedies, action and adventure films), none of them propelled him to the top of the box office heap. Rock Hudson got the best roles (and they were none too good most of the time), followed by Tony Curtis, Jeff Chandler and then, finally, George. Nonetheless, you could hardly pick up any movie magazine of the period, and not find George’s smiling, bare-chested likeness.

When his film contract ended, he went into television series, both as a continuing lead (an early Ellery Queen) and as a guest star (several “Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” Andy Griffith’s show), but ultimately wound up in Europe in the mid-60s, like so many other actors of his generation who could no longer get Hollywood roles. He was luckier than most, as he became a big star in Germany, playing Jerry Cotton, an American James Bond-type in a very popular series of films.

He hadn’t been heard from in a while when he suddenly published the first-ever “gay” scifi novel, “Chrome” in 1978. He and his longtime companion, Mark Miller (Mark and George were the executor’s of Rock Hudson’e estate) also wrote another novel, a sort-of tell-all Hollywood tale, “The Perils of Paul,” which was privately published.

Shortly before he died, I wrote a long letter to George, telling him on my lifelong admiration, and thanking him for “coming out” long before it was fashionable or accepted. He responded with a great collection of stuff, including autographed photos, a first edition copy of “Chrome” as well as a copy of his unpublished novel. I was very touched, and grateful that I had a chance to tell him how much he meant to me as a “closeted” child.

For more information on his career, and lots more photos, check out the great webpage on Brian’s Drive-In, the home of all B-movie actors for film addicts like me: http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/georgenader.html.

Happy birthday, George! Your star will continue to shine brightly at Chelsea Pines Inn.

Briand Bedford-Eichler is currently the Editor-in-Chief of Spartacus.  He lives in Berlin and visited Chelsea Pines Inn for the first time 23 years ago.  His recollection is shared below in English and German.

I will never forget my first visit to the Chelsea Pines Inn. It was back in 1988. I was 23 years old and it was my first trip to New York City.

After ending my first relationship with my boyfriend of the time, a friend a work gave me a copy of the film Torch Song Trilogy with the unbelievable Harvey Fierstein and the extremely cute Matthew Broderick. He hoped it would cheer me up. I sat in my apartment and watched this film twelve times, over and over again. On the following Monday morning I requested holiday and booked a so-called Courier Flight with British Airways to New York JFK. The good thing about these Courier Flights was the price. I flew to New York for GBP 25. Amazing! The downside – the flight times could not be altered, one could only take hand luggage and one had to wear a suit or at least a tie. This was no problem for me. I had my trip to New York City for one week for an amazing price. In the airplane, just prior to take off, the Stewardess asked me to accompany her. The Chief Steward wanted to have a word with me. He said they had a spare seat in First Class and asked if I would like to move to this seat. What luck! After take-off I was given a bottle of Champagne by this very kind Chief Steward (we stayed in contact for many years thereafter). I don’t remember much of the flight. I slept all the way to New York and was gently woken up shortly before landing. After telling the Chief Steward that it was my first trip to New York he gave me a second bottle of Champagne – saying “have fun in this wonderful city”! I remember getting the address for the Chelsea Pines from the Spartacus Gay Guide. Back in those days it was black and white but the idea of a gay hotel in the Greenwich Village sounded ideal. I received a very friendly welcome and remember the rooms with shared baths. The accommodation was reasonably priced and the location of the hotel was great. I remember visiting the local bar Spike where I met a wonderful guy from Ohio. We spent most of my first week in New York together. Our hot nights in Chelsea Pines is something I won’t ever forget. I was near to tears at the airport one week later when I had to return to London. This was however the beginning of a long relationship with the fantastic city New York and the wonderful hotel Chelsea Pines Inn!

Ich werde meinen ersten Besuch im Chelsea Pines Inn nie vergessen. Das war in Jahr 1988. Ich war 23 Jahre alt, und es war meine erste Reise nach New York City.

Nachdem ich meinem damaligen Freund Schluss gemacht habe, gab mir einem Arbeitskollegen eine Kopie der Film Das Kuckucksei mit dem unglaublichen Harvey Fierstein und dem äußerst süßen Matthew Broderick. Er hoffte damit, meine Stimmung zu verbessern. Ich saß in meiner Wohnung und schaute den Film wieder und wieder an. Insgesamt habe ich ihn 12 Mal angeschaut. An dem Montag danach habe ich Urlaub beantragt und habe einen sogenannten Courierflug mit British Airways nach New York JFK gebucht. Das Gute an diesen Flügen ist der Preis. Der Flug kostete nur GBP 25! Der Kehrseite: die Flugdaten dürften nicht geändert werden und man dürfte nur Handgepäck mit sich nehmen. Noch dazu müsste man einen Anzug oder zumindest eine Krawatte. Das war für mich alles kein Problem. Ich hatte meinen Flug für eine Woche nach New York City zum Supersonderpreis.

Im Flugzug, kurz vorm Start bat mich die Flugbegleiterin zum Chefsteward. Er sagte es gäbe einen freien Platz in der 1. Klasse und ob ich mich dorthin sitzen möchte. Kurz danach erhielt ich eine Flasche Champagner. An diesen Flug erinnere ich mich nicht. Ich schlief die meiste Zeit. Als ich erzählte, dass diese meine erste Reise nach New York City sei, bekam ich vom Chefsteward eine zweite Flasche Champagner mit der Ansage: „Viel Spaß in New York“! Wir sind lange Zeit danach noch Freunde geblieben. Die Adresse des Chelsea Pines Inn habe ich aus dem Spartacus Gay Guide entnommen. Damals war diese Publikation nur in schwarz /weiß. Die Vorstellung in einem Hotel für schwule Männer im Greenwich Village zu wohnen war sehr aufregend! Ich würde sehr freundlich empfangen und erinnere mich an den Zimmern mit Gemeinschaftsbädern. Die Vorstellung gemeinsam mit den anderen schwulen Gästen duschen zu dürfen war toll! Die Zimmerpreise waren moderat und der Lage war spitze. Ich habe die Bar in der Nachbarschaft Spike besucht und dort eine süßen Kerl aus Ohio kennen gelernt. Wir brachten die meiste meiner Urlaubszeit zusammen. Ich war tränennah als ich am Flughafen auf meinen Ruckflug nach London wartete. Das war aber der Anfang eine tolle und langjährige Beziehung zu der Stadt New York City und zum Chelsea Pines Inn.

Jeanne Barrett is a devoted guest of Chelsea Pines Inn.  She was born and spent her childhood in Seattle, but grew up in all the most essential ways in NYC.  She has been a teacher of the Alexander Technique since 1987.  Jeanne returned to her original home of Seattle in 1993, where she enjoys a large and diverse practice teaching Alexander principles.  She is also currently dedicated to effecting the release of elephants in zoos and circuses to sanctuary.

Time compresses and expands with memory.  There are arcs of dramatic sequence, notable moments of change, and the intersection of personal history with a wider, expanded awareness.  Details accumulate, and insights break through, if we are lucky enough to receive them.

As Chelsea Pines celebrates its 25th Anniversary, the intertwining threads of our stories become a wider narrative of general themes and specific moments.

In 1984, I moved from Hong Kong, where I had been living for 5 years, to NYC.  I had previously lived in the city very happily and couldn’t wait to return.  I recall being grateful every single day to live in the greatest city in the world, and at the center of the world.  By 1986, I was self employed as a personal trainer, racing all over the city to assist people in their fitness goals. I loved, and still love, the light, the rhythm, the extremes, the ongoing dance of intense urban life!

Once I had returned to the city, I pursued the extensive and deep training to become an Alexander Technique teacher.  I felt as though stumbling happily onto the Alexander Technique answered all of the questions I had not yet asked.  With the Alexander Technique, I found a means to serve the world constructively, and to also have a means to constantly learn and grow in my service.  It is a technique in search of a philosophy, which suited me ideally.

Then, love intervened!  This led me back to my home city of Seattle. I found that all the complex, nuanced skills I had developed to thrive in NYC applied nowhere else.  This was annoying, disconcerting and frustrating.  I also found that without the clamor of the city, I was left with my own internal noise.  Years of psycho-therapy in NYC had not at all prepared me for hearing my own chatter in such an audible fashion.  New skills had to be learned, new ways of both quieting and accommodating internal noise.  The Alexander Technique, in the skills of active stillness, of dynamic non-interference, assisted and supported my difficult transition.  I made it, I survived, I learned a new sense of internal quiet, but I still yearned for the city.

And thus began the exploration between the bucolic green and relative ease of Seattle and the intensity and density of NYC.  My solution thus far is to hear my own noise in Seattle, and see myself in larger context in NYC.  My heart is more open with both realities.  Seattle is more quiet and homogenous (finding the variations in what seems like the same tone), NYC is multi-layered and far more vastly diverse (seeing the overall order in chaos).  Micro and macro, the joys of softened definition of self.

The Alexander Technique involves, in part, a balance of tonal response that yields an integrity of form, as well as a conscious response to stimulus, whether the stimulus be mental, physical or emotional.  The integration of the entire self is key in Alexander principles.  There is no “right” way, no “ideal” posture.  We seek balance, openness to change, and a willingness for new experience.  Between Seattle and NYC, I have found an ideal tonal balance of tonal response to life as I know it.

Thank you to Jay and Chelsea Pines for providing the necessary balance of my NYC home!

Fay is the author of author of three hilarious memoirs about lesbian life, politics and her beloved hometown Rehoboth Beach DE.  She is the Publisher and Managing Editor of A&M Books, a successor to the legendary Naiad Press.  Fay has contributed feature stories and columns to such publications as The Washington Post, The Advocate, OutTraveler, Curve Magazine, The Washington Blade and many others.  She and Bonnie, her partner of almost 30 years, have two Miniature Schnauzers and a riding lawn mower.  Find her and her books at www.aandmbooks.com.

As we celebrate 25 years with Chelsea Pines I have to tell the tale of my 45 year connection! One day in 2003 I was trolling the internet for a gay B&B in New York. I found the Chelsea Pines and a very surprising connection. The email went something like this:

Hello -
I checked out your web site and recognized the innkeeper’s name. Are you the same Jay Lesiger who was my senior prom date in 1965? If so, we should have known we were both gay. Nobody else hates camping and likes Broadway THAT much.
I live in Rehoboth Beach (Gayberry RFD) with my partner and will definitely check out Chelsea Pines!
Fay (Rubenstein) Jacobs

Dear Fay:
Okay, I’m stunned and my office staff is insisting you became a lesbian after you dated me!… I still have photos of us dressed for your prom tucked away in my memory box (pretty scary). How cool to hear from you; It would be great if you and your lover would come to NYC and stay here; I’ll make you a great deal. Write and tell me about your last 35 years!

Dear Jay,
Oy! Where to start!!!!! First off, every man I ever dated (except the man I married, which is a whole other embarrassing story) turned out to be gay, so it had to be me that was the culprit, okay?
We’d love to come to NYC and stay at your place some time. What a hoot that would be. Thanks so much for writing, With all the stories you hear about people reconnecting through the internet and running off with their high school sweethearts, we can both rest assured it won’t happen here.
Cheers,
Fay

So much for e-mail. So then, we went to NYC.

When Bonnie and I arrived at the Chelsea Pines, my high school honey’s front desk staff greeted us warmly, with devilish grins. “Where’s your corsage?” said the cute staffer. Then we toured the rooms with their movie poster art and fabulous camp sensibility.
The general manager pointed us to the Donna Reed Suite, where we opened the door to find enlarged, grainy, frightening, copies of my 1965 prom pictures, yearbook photo, and other assorted artifacts on the walls over the movie posters. I especially appreciated the Thelma & Louise-ish picture of me, behind the wheel of my parents’ sports car, wearing a ridiculous grin and humongous, dramatically pointy white sunglasses. Bonnie, staring at the yearbook graduation picture laughed that she had Jimmy Carter type lust in her heart at the sight of that innocent young thing. Weird!!!!

When our host arrived, he came bearing flowers and a huge smile. We stared at each other, searching for our former young selves in the middle-aged gay people we’d become. I recognized him right away, even if he was letting his natural blonde grow in (!!). I noted that perhaps he’d forgotten I was always a red head.
I heard Jay’s tale of the run-down rooming house becoming the now- thriving Chelsea Pines Inn, met his partner Tom, and shared my stories of coming out, becoming a writer and moving to the beach.
The visit was short, but we have gotten together again quite a few times over the past several years and rekindled a glorious friendship.
And when I go to readings and signings for my books, this tale is one of my favorites to read. Happy Anniversary, Chelsea Pines. Long may you and your hosts wave!

by Tom Viola

Tom Viola is the executive director of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS (BC/EFA), the nation’s leading industry-based not-for-profit AIDS fundraising and grant-making organization.  In 2010, Tom received a Tony Honor for Excellence in the Theatre.  BC/EFA presents several major annual events each year – The Broadway Flea Market, The Gypsy of the Year Competition, The Broadway Bears Auction, The Easter Bonnet Competition and Broadway Bares in addition to other on going efforts and scores of other one-time fundraising events.   Mr. Viola lives in Manhattan with two madcap mutts – Maggie and Squirrel, and three shady cats – Ed, Earl and Puddy.  He vacuums as often as he shaves.

Congratulations on the happy success marked by the 25^th anniversary of the Chelsea Pines Inn.

In New York City, where tastes constantly change and what was hot and new one year is tired and forgotten the next – from Cats and Sex and the City to Lindsay Lohan and Donald Trump (please!) – nothing lasts for this long that hasn’t in some way become a distinct and beloved addition to the neighborhood and an inexplicable but undeniable part of the emotional make-up of its neighbors.

Try as many do, that cannot be built into any business plan, represented by an expensive design or created by marketing experts.   It simply is.

And so it is at the Chelsea Pines Inn.   Without a doubt, the personable attention to comfort, privacy and expectations that your guests experience when visiting the city springs from the same warmth and generosity of spirit that you have personally shared with your friends and community over two and a half decades.

Twenty-five years is long time.  It’s the difference between a tux that a guy like me wears to pass hors d’ouevres to one that’s worn to the Tony Awards.  It’s realizing that wishing doesn’t make it so; starting does.  It’s the time it takes to understand that a life without consequences is a life of little consequence.  That from days steeped in nearly unbearable pain and loss would come moments of profound joy and accomplishment.  Love tempers all, but a little temper can help make your point.  Some of what seemed so important would be first to evaporate from memory, while the smallest acts of kindness can be imprinted on the heart forever.   Shit happens.  Assholes sometime win.  But everything changes, a day at a time.  It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.  But what you do isn’t all that you are.   (That one is still a work in progress).

For me 14^th Street in 1986 was about the most incredible donuts available on the north corner of Seventh Avenue as you came out of the subway.  Continuing west past Eighth Avenue, there were many sad afternoons spent at Reddin’s Funeral Home – one of a very few that would embrace both the bodies of those who had died of AIDS and the intense and angry sorrow of some soon to die and others who would amazingly survive.  In those days now so long ago, many evenings were blissfully passed with a pal who lived off the beaten path in a loft on the south corner of Ninth Avenue.  There we could get into just about every kind of stupid fun and trouble imaginable to try to forget those aching afternoons.  And often did.  (See “consequences” in the preceding paragraph.)

Now, twenty-five years later, the donuts are still there but without the white counter to enjoy them over a 75 cent coffee.  Two blocks west, avoidable trouble has been traded for unaffordable fashion.  My buddy moved home to North Carolina and “hoping to forget” has given way to the understanding that life goes on, sometimes joyfully and sometimes just because it does.

Little did I know then that what would mean the most to me now 25 years later is what you, Tom and the Chelsea Pines Inn represent in that same walk across 14^th Street from Seventh Avenue to Ninth:  Success brought about by hard work, indelible ties to the community and the ability to create family and home for yourselves and others, like myself, fortunate enough to make your acquaintance and walk up the steps of #317.

Congratulations guys – to you, Charlie and all at The Chelsea Pines Inn.   May your doors remain secure and your hearts open for years to come.

Michael Adams is the Executive Director of SAGE (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders).  SAGE is the oldest and largest organization in the country providing services and advocacy for LGBT seniors.  SAGE’s programs directly serve thousands of LGBT older people in New York City each month.  Prior to joining SAGE, Michael was the Director of Education and Public Affairs for Lambda Legal where he oversaw all of their community education, communications, and outreach programs throughout the country.   He was named one of the “100 most influential gay men and lesbians” by Out Magazine.

The enduring institutions of our beloved LGBT community in New York City – whether we are talking about Chelsea Pines Inn or SAGE or so many others – are  labors of love.  Their claims to fame include a seemingly endless capacity to survive, and indeed thrive, even during the most painfully difficult of times.  This is certainly the story of SAGE over the last 25 years.  In 1986, SAGE was led by the legendary Ken Dawson, who was a trail-blazer and inspiration not only for LGBT older people, but for our community as a whole.  That time has often been referred to as a “golden age” for SAGE and LGBT aging issues.  Thanks to Ken’s fierce leadership and the extraordinary willpower and commitment of the many SAGE devotees who worked with him, our community and City were forced to start coming to terms with the injustices, invisibility and marginalization regularly visited upon LGBT elders.  This was, of course, happening at the most painful of times, as we were struck with the devastating blow of AIDS.   In some ways SAGE’s mission of improving the quality of life for LGBT older people took on a twinge of irony during those years, as the prospect of old age seemed increasingly remote for the gay men who formed a large part of SAGE’s constituency at the time.   Ken himself eventually was taken from us by the epidemic.  Nonetheless, SAGE soldiered on through those years, both to support the many LGBT folks who were already elderly by the time of AIDS and as an act of defiance – a bold assertion that we would survive AIDS and that aging would remain relevant to all members of our community.

In the intervening 25 years, SAGE and our constituents have weathered our share of storms while continually and tirelessly pushing for better days for our older community members.  During that time, the numbers of LGBT elders that SAGE serves has grown dramatically.  The breadth of our programs is almost dizzying – everything from legal aid to social services to aerobics to computer classes.  Our training programs are having an impact all across the country through the new, federally funded National Resource Center on LGBT Aging.  Our advocacy is starting to dismantle the infrastructure of discrimination in government aging programs that has historically bedeviled LGBT older people.  SAGE recently purchased its own headquarters, has a thriving program in Harlem, has opened a federal relations office in Washington, D.C. and last year launched an office in Chicago that supports our 21 SAGE affiliates around the country.

The progress SAGE is making now, and will make in the years ahead, with and on behalf of LGBT older people is all built on the tireless and fearless work of Ken and his generation.  We’re fortunate at SAGE that a good number of Ken’s contemporaries – those who drove our organization’s spirit and work during those early days – are still with us and still very much a part of the SAGE family.  They continually remind us of our roots, of our values, of the reason SAGE exists.  They call us to honor Ken’s legacy, and theirs – the sacrifices and contributions of the past 25 years — in what we do today and tomorrow.  As I write these few words about the past quarter century, I can’t help but think of Ken and his band of LGBT aging advocates.  Here’s to doing everything we can to live up to their promises, their dreams, their vision, in the next 25 years.

We at Chelsea Pines are so excited to have received a lovely note in response to Jay Lesiger’s recent post, ‘How to Make an Inn’, from none other than our favorite author and inspiration, Armistead Maupin (!).  It was so generous of him to take time from his preparations for the musical debut of Tales of the City to share his thoughts about Chelsea Pines.

Hi Jay,

At this very moment a group of gifted artists (many of them New Yorkers) are preparing to bring “Tales of the City” to the musical stage in San Francisco, so the timing of your blog is serendipitous. It’s thrilling to know that Mrs. Madrigal helped to inspire one of Chelsea’s most treasured institutions. There’s been many a time when I’ve wished someone would tape a joint to my door in NYC — so now I know where to go. (Just kidding, Mr. Bloomberg) Thanks for making me feel part of your rich history by telling this tale of Sheldon’s dream. May Chelsea Pines continue to thrive and bring joy to the free spirits who are lucky enough to discover it.

Warm regards,

Armistead

 

Rabbi Kleinbaum serves as the spiritual leader of Congregation Beth Simchat Torah and is regarded as one of the most important rabbis in America. The national Jewish weekly, The Forward , named her as one of the country’s 50 top Jewish leaders and The New York Jewish Week identified her as one of the 45 leading young American Jewish leaders in New York.  NEWSWEEK magazine named her #17 on its list of “Top 50 American Rabbis”; she is also the highest ranked woman on the list. The subject of a profile in The New York Times, among many other titles, Rabbi Kleinbaum has lectured and published widely.

To say that NYC has changed for GLBT people since 1986 is an understatement.  It was late in 1985 that Ronald Reagan used the word AIDS publically for the first time.  In 1985, Ryan White was a 13 year old boy with AIDS banned from classes by school officials. Rock Hudson died from AIDS becoming the first public figure with AIDS known to most Americans. We now have more rights than we could have imagined, more children than we dreamed, trans people are now an important part of our community, many “mainstream” religious institutions and organizations accept us, there are many openly gay elected officials….

And yet and yet.  We still don’t have a cure for AIDS, there is still a serious abuse of drugs and alcohol in our community, the right wing is louder and better organized in its attacks on us and the shadows of all those we loved and lost haunt our streets and our homes.

We have learned to mourn. And we have learned to celebrate.  May the memories of those we lost be for a blessing in our lives and our lives a blessing to our memories.

My congregation is very much a microcosm of New York – I arrived at CBST in the midst, in the midst of the worse of the AIDS epidemic.  And we were decimated by that moment in time.  We had memorial services every other week.   We’ve lost 25% of our community to AIDS and we know many many more are still HIV +.  AIDS was the cloud that was over us in every service, at every event, in every setting.  Every week would see another empty seat, another face who was integral the community lost.  Memorial services were the primary social event at that time.    That’s where we would see each other, where we could catch up.  AIDS was prominent focus in everything we did as a congregation. When I first came to CBST, I knew then that CBST once we could find our footing, if we would survive as a community, the AIDS epidemic, we could move forward and take what we learned and transform our community and we have.